So. Yeah. Christianity is daunting. I don't think I'm any good at it. I read blogs. And see videos. And talk to friends and they seem to have Jesus down to a science. They know what to say and how to live and it all seems to fit together so nicely. I often find myself worried that this lack of confidence, this ineptitude at being a follower of the big J will be an enormous hindrance in my life, career path...etc. etc. etc.
Just a thought.
I'm working on it.
In other news, I'm back from New Zealand. Was kinda glad to leave when I did. It was getting way too cold and JT whines a lot when it's cold :) I joke, I joke, I kid, I kid. I get pretty seasonally depressed myself. It's so odd how different I feel in the sun on every emotional and physical level. But. I was just ready for home. I loved the country in warmth, but to be honest, I didn't feel comfortable at my host home and was just ready for family and friends.
Sadly, I won't get a chance for much catching up -- on sleep, conversation or anything. I am currently family vacaying in Vegas and will leave from here on Sunday to Kenya.
Yes.
Kenya.
I am nervous and calm at the same time. I am just HUGE on uncertainity avoidance, preparation, planning -- and I can't and haven't done much of that for this! I'll just have to hope for the best and do my best. I mean. Yeah.
But let's sum up my abroad year. New Zealand was utterly different than Europe and I am so glad I went. I mountain biked, camped in sheds, fell insanely in love (again!) and saw sights that made me feel like God was whispering right into my soul. New Zealand is such a different type of place. Space is a different concept there. Quiet exists even in the most populated city. Recycling is naturally ingrained. I actually feel like I became a more self-driven academic and did some serious soul searching to centre myself for the future (deep, eh?)
From Otago - Dunnedin. Gulf Harbour to Rotorua. Fish and Chips and Hell Pizza. Giant Skies and Blue Green Water. Sydeney Theatre to Adrienne. Remaking "Tomorrow" - "Did You Touch My Johnson?" Bus Rides and AV Library. Long Walks and Bike Rides. Sambaing and Sucking Kisses... A million memories shared with the most special person in the entire world. Cool!
I can't believe I was blessed and lucky and fortunate enough to have the chance to spend the whole year finding myself. Que guay, no? Que friggin' guay. I hope I never stop.
Well.
Yeah!
Hope you're well,
Janelle
